Updated 6/12, 8:30 PM with references to the fact that my sexuality is not, in fact, psychologically unhealthy for me. I think that’s an important component here.
I’m also adding a Trigger warning for kinkphobia, ableism, and mentions of abuse.
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I’ve always admitted that my submissive sexuality is influenced by the larger abuses in our society and by the abuses I’ve personally experienced. Every aspect of my personality is, but that doesn’t make me any less authentic or inherently unhealthy. My sexual preferences are very real and are not damaging to me. Apparently, however, you don’t like them.You feel they’re oppressive and wrong. So what would you have me do?
Should I attempt to change my sexual preferences? I did,. It didn’t work. Maybe I should try harder, discuss them with a psychologist? The thing is, I already see a psychologist, and I see her for actual problems. Right now, for example, I’m just trying to figure out a way to get through the days. As a woman who is already psychologically disabled as well as underemployed, I don’t have the time or money to spend discussing my healthy, consensual sexual preferences.
So I guess I should ignore them and never have satisfactory sex? Is that a burden that only women like me should have to bear? Is that feminist, to demand that certain women never have satisfactory sex? Or am I allowed to do what I want in private, as long as I don’t bring it out into the public sphere to oppress you? What about the fact that I’m an exhibitionist? What about the fact that I make sure that all the porn I produce and participate in is subversive in some way? Is that not good enough?
Tell me. I’d like to know.
